


Crushing Feelings

by BlueBigfoot



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon Era, Emotionally Constipated Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Fluff, Getting Together, Happy Ending, Idiots in Love, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-02 20:02:14
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,429
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24062557
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueBigfoot/pseuds/BlueBigfoot
Summary: Arthur is rattled when a sorcerer calls him a coward moments before her execution. He is finally forced to face his feelings.
Relationships: Merlin & Arthur Pendragon (Merlin), Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 201





	Crushing Feelings

“Uther Pendragon!” The convicted woman yelled as she was led up to the platform. The guards flanking her grabbed her roughly to shut her up before the king raised his hand, an amused expression on his face.

“Let the sorcerer speak, it’s the least we can do.” He gestured for her to continue. It was no secret that condemning sorcerers to death gave Uther a thrill. Toying with them in their final minutes was all part of the fun.

The woman sneered. “I see no happy days for you. You are an arrogant fool who will only see misfortune after misfortune. You will never change your ways and will forever remain a hated king until the day you die!” She lifted her head proudly, her matted hair whipping round her in the wind.

“Is this a curse?” The king answered back.

“Not a curse. I see your future, Uther.” Next the woman turned her head slightly to address the prince. “Arthur Pendragon.”

Arthur stood a little straighter and looked down at the girl defiantly. “Do you have anything to say of my future?”

“Yes, lots. I believe you are not like your father. I will give you some advice. You are a coward and need to face your feelings before they threaten to crush you entirely,” the sorcerer said with a smirk. She jerked in the guards grip. “Kill me now. I have said all I need to say.”

“Very well. You have been sentenced to death on the accusation of sorcery. How do you plead?” Uther yelled as the woman was forced to kneel in front of the block.

“Entirely guity.”

The axe came down with a whistle and the woman was no more.

  


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Merlin began turning down Arthur’s bed. Arthur sat, not speaking, at the table eating dinner. He’d been in a bad mood all day and Merlin was just waiting for him to snap at him. Still he wanted to know what was wrong and he had a feeling it had to do with the execution that morning.

“What do you think that woman meant this morning?” Merlin asked. He chanced a quick glance at Arthur and took in his stony expression as he picked at his food.

“Nothing more than the ramblings of a mad woman,” he replied, not looking up from where he was tearing bread apart.

Merlin frowned. “She didn’t seem mad to me.”

Arthur let out a huff and pushed his plate away. “Of course she was mad. She was put to death. She was just yelling nonsense in her final minutes.”

“Of course, sire.” Merlin nodded and continued with his task. But Arthur still looked distressed and as much as Merlin resented the git sometimes, he genuinely did care about him. He hated to see him so upset. He knew his next words weren’t going to go over well and yet he did it anyway.

“Arthur, what’s wrong? You’ve not been yourself all day,” he asked quietly. Arthur let out another huff.

“Don’t you have something better to do than prying into my life? If you’re done messing around with my sheets you can get out of here,” he snapped back. There it was, Merlin thought. The prince’s bad mood had finally been turned upon him.

“Of course, sire. Would you like me to get you into your sleeping clothes now?” He asked respectfully, keeping a distance from Arthur as he paced around the room.

“I’m not an idiot, Merlin. I can dress myself. Just get out of here,” he yelled.

Merlin scrambled to the door. Just as he was about to leave he heard Arthur murmur a quiet, “Merlin, I’m sorry.”

He turned back to the prince, gave a curt nod and left the room.

  


\---------------------------------------------------------

  


“Something is seriously wrong with Arthur,” Merlin said at dinner that night. Gaius looked up from his stew.

“You think he’s enchanted?” Gaius asked with concern.

“No.” Merlin played with the soup in his bowl. He didn’t have much of an appetite. “He was in a bad mood all day, ever since the execution. Something’s playing on his mind.”

“Perhaps it has something to do with the words of the sorcerer,” Gaius answered. He couldn’t help noticing how down Merlin looked. His eyebrows set together, a small frown on his face.

“He said they were just ramblings of a mad woman. Then when I asked what was wrong he yelled at me to leave,” Merlin paused for a second, “and then he did something really weird. He apologized to me.”

Gaius raised his eyebrows and let out a little hum. Merlin rolled his eyes.

“He never does that! Not out loud anyway!” Merlin continued. “And definitely not immediately after.”

Gaius went to clean up and left Merlin at the table. “I just want to know what’s wrong.” He heard Merlin say quietly but ignored it. He was sure that whatever was wrong would work itself out as it always did.

  


\---------------------------------------------------------

  


Arthur hardly slept. He tossed and turned, the words of the sorcerer ringing round his head. Coward, face your feelings, crush you entirely. He thought of the implications of what she said.

He had an idea what she meant even if he hated it. Could the woman have known about his feelings for Merlin? Those were the only “feelings he hasn’t faced” that he could think of. Not that he could face them anyway. The thought that she knew made his blood run cold.

It was completely improper. Even the relationship they had now could be considered improper. Merlin was less of a servant to him and more like a friend who just did everything for him. He liked Merlin as a friend though. He was loyal and witty and funny, he spoke his mind and, although sometimes it did get on his nerves, Arthur really did enjoy their banter. If some more than friendly feelings could have risen from that then Arthur really couldn’t be blamed. Yes, he had feelings for his manservant and sometimes it did feel like it was crushing him. Like when Merlin grinned at him after they had just defeated yet another big bad threatening Camelot. Or the worried look in his eyes whenever Arthur got hurt. Sometimes he just wanted to throw all propriety out the window and kiss him like his life depended on it.

Arthur turned on his side and buried his face in his pillow. “Get it together,” he mumbled to himself. He couldn’t court Merlin. He was sure Merlin wouldn't even want that. He just had to get his feelings in check or, as the sorcerer predicted, they would crush him.

  


\---------------------------------------------------------

  


Merlin was genuinely very worried about Arthur. The past few days he had barely spoken to him unless he was ordering him around. He didn’t tease him like he usually did, not even when Merlin tripped on his way out of the stables and ended with horse dung on his face. He sent him away as soon as Merlin had finished his tasks. It was like Arthur could barely stand to be in the same room as him.

It wasn’t just him though. During training Arthur snapped orders, never joked, and was especially aggressive. Merlin knew this was how he took out his frustrations but this time he just didn’t know what the frustrations were. Usually after a rigorous training session he felt better but he was just the same, snipping at everyone and not smiling.

Merlin overheard the other knights complaining about it after one session while he polished their armour as they took it off.

“Thought he was going to bloody kill me,” Sir Gwaine said, shucking off his armour, “he had that look in his eye.”

“He hit especially hard,” Sir Lancelot noted. “He has been for the past week.”

“He’s been in a foul mood. Maybe he just needed to let it out,” Sir Leon suggested.

“Wish he’d snap out of it before he kills one of us,” Sir Elyan grumbled.

“Merlin!” Gwaine yelled across the room. “You know what’s wrong with the princess?’

Merlin sighed and scrubbed hard at a chest plate. “Absolutely no clue. He’s been an ass to me too. Even more so than usual.”

“So he’s mad at everyone,” Lancelot said, “Good to know it’s not just us.”

  


\---------------------------------------------------------

  


One night Arthur took his meal in his room while Merlin busied himself with chores around Arthur’s chambers. He did not speak throughout the entire meal and it was bothering Merlin. A week of the silent treatment was weighing on him. After watching Arthur push the stew in his bowl around for ten minutes he had enough.

“Out with it!” He said at last and stood defiantly in front of the prince. Arthur merely glanced up from his bowl and shot Merlin a look. “Yell at me all you want but I’m not leaving here until you tell me what’s got you in such a strop.”

Arthur huffed and said nothing.

“Come on!” Merlin sighed, sitting across from him. “Is it what that woman said? You’ve been an absolute nightmare since then.”

“Thanks,” Arthur said sarcastically. After a beat he sighed and finally relented. “Yes, fine! What that woman said is bothering me! It shouldn’t but it does.”

Merlin’s face softened. “Do you know what she meant by it?”

“I think so,” Arthur said quietly. He stared down at his bowl again. “It doesn’t even matter if that’s what she meant, I can’t do anything about it anyway. Can’t face my feelings or whatever.”

He looked so dejected. Merlin screwed his face up in thought. “Is this about Gwen?” He said after a considerable pause.

Arthur shot him a confused face. “Gwen? What about Gwen?”

“You have feelings for Gwen, right? Those are the feelings you can’t face?”

Arthur’s face scrunched up more, his eyebrows drawn together. “Where on earth did you get that idea? She is a dear friend but nothing more.”

“Sorry, I just thought,” Merlin trailed off. So if it wasn’t Gwen, who could it be? Maybe he wasn’t talking about romantic feelings. Maybe it was about his feelings towards how his father is running the kingdom. But no, the witch’s words, if Merlin could remember them correctly, seemed to point in that romantic direction.

“I can’t help you if you won’t tell me,” he said at last after some deliberation.

Arthur rolled his eyes. “I didn’t ask for your help.”

“Well whatever it is, snap out of it! Everyone agrees that you have been insufferable since that day.” Merlin stood abruptly and took the half eaten meal out from under Arthur’s nose. “Now if that’s all I’m going to turn in.”

The prince flashed Merlin one of his best scowls. “It’s you!” He yelled at last, just as Merlin was about to leave. Merlin turned abruptly, almost dropping the bowl.

“What’s me?” He asked.

“The feelings! What that damned woman was screaming about! It’s you!” Arthur yelled back. He seemed angry but Merlin didn’t know why.

“You have feelings for me?” Merlin questioned. His head was spinning, nothing was making sense.

“Yes.” Arthur sounded exasperated.

“Romantic feelings?”

The eye roll he received was impressive. “Yes! You dollop head! I didn’t think you were that thick!”

Merlin narrowed his eyes and frowned. “Well when you talk to me like that constantly how am I supposed to know?”

Arthur rubbed a hand across his face. “I know, I know. I’m sorry, I just have no experience with things like this.” He finally looked Merlin in the eye and squared his shoulders. “I didn’t want you to know because I value your friendship and I didn’t want to cock everything up, although I’ve definitely just done that. I mean you would never see me that way and-” He was abruptly cut off by Merlin lunging forward and pressing his lips to the rambling prince. It was a short peck and just as Arthur was overcoming his shock and closing his eyes, Merlin pulled back.

“Shut up, clotpole. I like you too,” He said against Arthur’s lips before pressing forward again.

Arthur finally started kissing back and placed his hands on Merlin’s waist. Merlin melted into the kiss and wrapped his arms around his prince’s neck. After a few minutes they pulled apart to breath. “Does this mean I don’t have to wash your dirty socks anymore?” He asked cheekily.

Arthur gave him a playful shove. “Absolutely not.”

  


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Merlin was running late. Arthur was going to have his head. He had an important council meeting today and Merlin was supposed to get to his chambers a little early to help him prep for it. Merlin shoved the roll from his breakfast plate into his mouth, trying to ignore how hungry he was and how good the porridge smelt. He attempted to chew the bread and put on his boots as he hopped to the door and waved goodbye to Gaius.

“Have a good day!” The old man called and flipped the page in his book. Merlin mumbled back, his mouth still full.

Merlin almost choked when he ran smack into Arthur right outside the door. Merlin took the bread out of his mouth and quickly started making apologies.

“Arthur! I’m sorry I’m late! I know you had that meeting this morning,” he said rather fast.

Arthur rolled his eyes but gave him a fond smile. “I didn’t have a meeting this morning, I just wanted you to come early. Though I should have assumed you couldn’t do that.”

“Prat,” Merlin shot back but was relieved that the prince wasn’t mad at him. “So if not for a council meeting, why did you want me early? And also why are you here? And how did you get dressed this morning, I didn’t know you could do that by yourself?”

“I’m a man of many talents,” Arthur replied, ruffling the boy’s hair roughly but fondly. “I was going to take you on an early morning ride and thought we could spend the day together. I’m here to make sure you figured out how to get out of bed this morning since I thought you could follow simple instructions.”

Merlin beamed at him. “Are you taking me on a date?” He asked with a smile.

“Yes, it is customary. I’m courting you after all aren’t I?” Arthur said with an eye roll. “Now hurry up!”

He turned sharply and started walking to the stables with Merlin happily trotting at his heels. They both couldn’t keep the grins off their faces as they mounted their horses and set off on their date. 

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading hope you enjoyed! This is my first fic ever so be nice please!


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